Someone at work brought in an interesting article today on Parenting. I wanted to get thoughts on this.
The headline "Parents Investigated for Neglect After Letting Kids Walk Home Alone" grabbed my attention. I grew up pretty far out of town, in a little out of the way neighborhood. I spent my days wandering the woods, the power lines, and even the police shooting range (Ok, so that may have called for a judgement call, but I loved my bullet collection...) I was a wanderer. Most of the time my parents had to ring a big bell, I would hear it and come running home from what ever adventure I was on that day.
Eventually I got wheels... and by wheels I mean the dual kind, not the cool hair flowing out the window kind. That was another set of freedoms. I got to take myself to swim practice, work, even school if I wanted to. (Which I didn't, it would have taken too long, and probably would have messed up my 80's bangs. I probably had the only set of parents in the world at that time who required a helmet.)
I am interested to hear where other parents are on "free range parenting." I have to admit, I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I try very hard to let go, but there are times that my helicopter propeller just turns on. I am not even sure why... sometimes I think it is more peer pressure than my own concerns. Other times, it is my irrational creative brain that thinks up crazy scenarios where my children end up in a gang and get tattoos, either way I struggle with the propeller and am not really sure when to turn it on and when to leave it off. It clearly is a common struggle for parents these days.
I don't claim to be the perfect parent, one way or another I loose the parenting award every year. Most of the time I don't even know what I am doing, I just hold on tight and try to enjoy this short ride to 18. It makes me think though, with my job and promoting getting kids outside... where do we really stand as a community, and as a society on letting our kids go "free range?"
We know all the reasons our kids should be outside... I work in a field where that is my main goal. Are we all ready to step outside our comfort zone and possibly into our fear zone to let our kids explore and learn from experience the way we did?
I grew up the same way, outside exploring until the bell or whistle or late afternoon mourning dove calls brought me home. And I pretty much raised my (now 19 year old) son that way. I think it still feels safe - with the right skills and respect - when we're talking about the wild and natural landscape.
ReplyDeleteBut I know there is more concern about abductions and the dangers from other people than when I was a kid; although at the same time there is also more community awareness and instant communication.
I think the real question in this case is who has legal authority to make the judgment. How scary to have a government agency threaten to take your children. And these parents had the foresight to even write permission cards for the kids to carry! Which is crazy-sad in its own right.
Although,...I suppose it's easy for me to throw up my hands and say, "Where is common sense in all this?", but I realize the child protective laws are well-intentioned and very hard to fit to every situation. So many children do fall through the cracks and benefit from that extra look and question. If the system is imperfect, I guess it's better to err on the side of too much caution, and we can all - parents and kids together - use it as learning experience in a changing, and changeable, world.
Parenting is indeed an exercise in stretching our comfort zone, and it doesn't end at 18. Maybe the reason human babies are born so dependent is because we couldn't let them go any less gradually!